I Love the Smell of Coffee...

I've never been a big coffee drinker... I've dabbled with lattés and cappuccinos, but it never really dug its talons deep. My favorite is peppermint tea with dried tea leaves from the garden and a dollop of honey. I think if you inhale deep enough, you can actually smell the sweetness of the summer garden...

In saying that, I love the smell of coffee. It makes me dizzy and stop in my tracks. Rich and deep and earthy... I love it. I think to me, coffee, and tea, for that matter, is more about about the act of it... of slowing down and sitting with a friend, or just taking time out for yourself. The past couple weeks have been insanely busy. So much so that I haven't had time for my morning cup of tea. As I sit here now, dark clouds outside, rain on the window, a cup of tea warming my face and hands... I realize that this... writing every day... has become my cup of coffee. In addition to not having time to drink a cup of tea, I have not had time to write... or reflect... and it has left me feeling that something is missing. I've barely acknowledged that this is a new year... I've yet to really consider the next 12 months, where I'm going to go and what I'm going to create...

Yes, I have a lot of tea drinking to do... xoxo

 

Today was a good day...

Today was waking up in a cozy bed. Hot shower. Sheepskin slippers. Peppermint tea. Christmas hugs. Baked french toast. Opening presents. Laughter. Crying. Friends visiting. Baby smiling. Stories. Christmas cookies. Skating on a frozen pond. Orange light on the hills. Reminiscing. Cold on my cheeks. Hot tea in a thermos. Meeting new people. My family. Lifetime friends. Pinot noir. Turkey. Wearing silly hats. Eating too much (again). Laughter. More stories. Surf video. Comfy couch. Cozy bed.

Yes, today was a good day... xoxo

Ice skating up at Saddle Lake, a Christmas tradition that goes waaaayyyy back. In the top 3 all time favorite things to do... and one of the best parts about growing up in a small town.

One Big Happy

We have many traditions over the Christmas holidays. Most are quite cheesy, like waiting for everyone to come home before we decorate the tree with home-made ornaments spanning over 30 years, and listening to Willie Nelson's Pretty Paper when we open presents. We find steep backroads that aren't yet sanded and race our wooden sleds we brought back from Germany, and when the river is frozen, we meet a group of friends for daily hockey games. But one of our favorites is to put on the cross-country skis and go to the local mountain where we ski up to the dacha, a small hut built by some of the locals. For me, the best part about this is that I get to spend the day with my whole family. This wouldn't be such a big deal if my parents weren't divorced. For those that know my family, they are used to this dynamic, a comfortable dynamic where my parents house sit and dog sit for one another... where my mom and step-mom hug when they see each other, where laughter and stories flow easily... where they choose to be friends. I know that this is not normal. In fact, this is exceptional... and this day of skiing and laughter and cheering each other on as we ski through the snow laden trails is the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. I have four amazing parents that have worked hard and sacrificed over the years to give me the best life they possibly could. They supported me, they supported each other, and they created a space for my brothers and myself that was filled with love and respect. Through their commitment and selflessness, they created a strong, beautiful family.

I cannot begin to thank my family for the part they have played in shaping all that I am. They are my center. And from that, I draw the strength, courage, and love to be the best person I can be and live the life I dream. I love you... xoxo.

Sometimes you have to let go...

"When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be." Lao Tzu

 

I loved you long before I met you... some days, I forget that you are now gone, and mourn as if hearing it for the first time. Our love was dewy grass and starry nights... John Lennon and full moons, summer breezes and pine trees... and a betrayal that broke me... a million shattered pieces, many never found. My heart cocooned, refused to love completely. Then... I forgave you... in my solitude of you and me... peace, finally. My feet in the sand, shackled no more, ocean breeze swept over me... I let you... and me... and the love that shaped all that I am... go. Forgiveness released me. But then you left again... for good this time... my words were never heard... my forgiveness never felt. I hope you found a better path, in the other world you now walk... you are always with me, always within me... It's time to let go... xoxo

 

Playa Del Carmen | Shine a Little Color On Me

Playa Del Carmen has changed... a lot. Not quite the quaint Mexican beach town I remember. In fact, it feels more like an extension of the tourist-wrought Cancun to the north. Nonetheless, this is where I am, so although I can't spend my days exploring ancient Mayan civilizations and archeological sites, I can do my best to seek out the beauty that I love to find in the most obscure places. I've always adored the color in Mexico, the bright clashing color considered gaudy anywhere else. This was my focus today... I found it on bar tables and back alleys, weathered walls and iron doors, at the beach and on busy streets. In frustrated moments I always looked up, and inevitably would see something that would both quicken my heart and stir my soul. A stunning chandelier, an intricate shadow, an unexpected reflection, the way the light danced through the layers of leaves. I found it in love and laughter, mariachi bands, street vendors and Maria, who made one of the best tacos in the world... when the eyes truly open, the heart can't help but follow... and that's when color is really experienced.

One of my fav's... love the fabric flowers around the door framed by the blue wall.

Check out his beautiful silver teeth!

This took my breath away...

Strummed by a beautiful man with the voice of an angel

 

32 Days | Surfing Indonesia | Video Series

So... I got my adventure. I wanted it, I asked for it, and I got it. It's so difficult to describe a trip like this; so many incredible experiences, so many amazing moments in between. For me, one of the most important things was to be able to disconnect from my world. It took awhile to let go... of the endless lists in my head, of worrying about work emails piling up, of thinking about projects and events and commitments. It took awhile to become present to where I was and who I was with. And that's when the magic really began. For me, it's not really about the experience itself, but how it makes you feel... that is what stays with you forever. So in being present, I was then able to really feel the land and its people, and that was the real gift of Indonesia.

This is a short video from our trip. Enjoy!

...xoxo